Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a school of thought that social media
platforms
exert significant adverse effects on both individuals
and society
. From my perspective, I agree with this
opinion to some extent.
On one hand, social networking sites undeniably offer numerous advantages to individuals
, fostering a broader sense of community. Firstly
, they serve as a conduit for continuous updates on global affairs, including political developments and financial trends. Moreover
, they facilitate maintaining familial connections and even fostering new relationships. Lastly
, they serve as invaluable platforms
for expanding one's knowledge and skills through the sharing of useful information and access to free educational resources, thereby enhancing career prospects.
However
, the flip side of the coin reveals that social media platforms
can harbor
substantial detrimental consequences for both Change the spelling
harbour
individuals
and society
at large. Firstly
, the ubiquitous dissemination of information on these platforms
often blurs the line between truth and falsehood, leading individuals
to engage with
misleading or fabricated content. Change preposition
in
Furthermore
, the ease of connectivity can expose users to various risks, such
as falling victim to scams or unwittingly engaging in illegal activities. Notably, the pervasive phenomenon of peer pressure among the younger demographic can be directly attributed to the influence of social media platforms
. Alarmingly, recent reports indicate a significant surge in mental health issues among young people, with the prevalence more than doubling over the past decade.
With all of the aforementioned theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. I believe that social networking sites can originally assist humans and society
; however
, they bring far more significant harm to both individuals
and society
Submitted by lethithut123 on
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Support your arguments with more specific examples or data to enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider the use of linking phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, further improving coherence.
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Keep developing your ideas thoroughly but remember to stay focused to maintain relevance to the question posed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Regularly practice summarizing your arguments in the conclusion more strongly to leave a lasting impact on the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
You introduced and concluded your essay effectively, guiding the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, which aided in conveying your argument clearly.
Task Achievement
Your essay addressed the topic thoroughly, presenting a balanced view which effectively answers the question.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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