IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree with this idea? Answer

#safety #roads #punishments #offences #idea
The graphs below give information on the predicted volume of
production
 by sector in the near future.
Overall
, they show that services and
energy
 will make up almost 3/4 of the
production
 in both cases and will maintain high stability despite some fluctuation in minor
production
 sources. The first chart provides information for
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2040. It is illustrated that services (40%) and
energy
 (31%) are the highest sources of
production
,
while
 Info-Com Tech stands at 15%, and agriculture, manufacturing,
materials
Correct word choice
and materials
show examples
 contribute less than 10% each. Concerning the second chart, which shows the
production
 per source for
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2060, services and
energy
 maintain their positions
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the largest contributors, even increasing by 1 and 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. Info-com-tech and materials are the only other sources that managed to increase their
production
 amount.
In contrast
, other previously small categories have fallen even lower when compared to their 2040 levels with
energy
production
 levels decreasing by a few
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and agriculture plummeting by a factor of four.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punitive measures
  • deterrence
  • driving offences
  • violating traffic laws
  • speeding
  • driving under the influence
  • stricter punishments
  • alternative measures
  • road infrastructure
  • vehicle safety features
  • public awareness campaigns
  • driving education programs
  • effectiveness of existing laws
  • consistent enforcement
  • comprehensive approach
  • automated traffic violation systems
  • ethical considerations
  • social inequality
  • disproportionately affect
  • fair treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: