IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that if a police officer carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought
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by
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some people that
Police
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officers
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 should not carry
guns
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 as it could enhance the chance of occurring a higher level of disastrous violence in
society
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. They argue that a lot of past incidents took place and are very evident for
such
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 a cause.
However
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, I opine that
Police
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Officers
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 should carry
guns
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 as many unprecedented situations demand quick action and having a gun with them
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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 the situation for social benefits as well.
As a consequence
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, the crime rate will decrease exponentially in the future by fostering a safe
society
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. There are many incidents where the
police
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 had taken prompt decisions to encounter
criminals
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 like murderers, rapists etc. . On many occasions,
such
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 as, at the time of taking a prisoner from Jail to court for their hearing process , the prisoner tried to escape for their fear of lifetime jail imprisonment punishment for the grave crime which they had committed. So, The
police
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 had to take immediate action to encounter
such
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 prisoners and create a safe
society
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 for the humans to live in. As the
police
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 are responsible for
such
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 an important responsibility, any lack of security will be held
the
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by the
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police
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 department reprehensible. Another reason
stem
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stems
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for
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from
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 the fact that the
police
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 department is a significant pillar to foster a peaceful
society
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. Crimes like stealing, money laundering etc. are so common these days that it has become an utmost priority to carry
guns
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 for the policeman's safety as well. The security
officers
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 need to protect themselves from
such
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criminals
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 so that they can protect us . The military
officers
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 who
guards
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guard
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 our country's border
from
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against
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 the threat of other countries'
criminals
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 , so that we can have a sound sleep at night, are
also
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 the child of other mothers who pray day and night for their child's safety. Having a gun should be a permanent criterion to protect our country's heroes. It is wise
to conclude
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 that
Police
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officers
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 should carry
guns
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 at all times for their safety and to protect our
society
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 from harsh
criminals
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.
This
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 movement will enhance the security of life and citizens,
hence
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, the government should shed light on
this
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 matter and take significant action to execute
such
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 a plan to foster a better country to live in for the citizens.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides clear topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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