IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

#month #programme #uk #head #course #participants #events #organiser #interest #role #information
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to express my gratitude for rendering a chance to join the UK, training programme. I am voraciously interested in
such
 events of social welfare as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 help to remain connected to the roots of my culture.
Moreover
, my grandfather was the CEO of a social events organization in the city. I have received a mail representing the location and date of the event but I am curious to know more about it. The exact time for
this
 event,
along with
 the
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
show examples
 of the famous personalities who are going to be part of
this
 organisation. I am interested to know more about the refreshment schedule and the name of the chief director as well.
However
, I have already gained two years of experience by working in "Too Good For You" a social welfare firm. I have recited various speeches and I have interacted with a lot of famous personalities as well. I came across the information that one student would be allowed to take care of the whole event. I would really appreciate it and would surely make you proud if given a chance to do so. I will be waiting for your response. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure you clearly separate different points, particularly when asking for more information and explaining your experience.
task achievement
Try to be more specific and concise while requesting information, and avoid vague phrases like 'more about it'.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing were appropriate and correctly formatted.
task achievement
The tone of your letter was very professional and suitable for a formal letter.
task achievement
You successfully covered all the content points requested in the task prompt.
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