IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries , owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negativbe situation

#countries #home #people #be #case #negativbe #situation
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to be a homeowner rather than a tenant. There are many reasons why
this
Linking Words
 is the case. Personally, in my opinion, there are both pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I think one of the most important reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 choose to own a
house
Use synonyms
 is that they don't need to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
 about moving to a new
house
Use synonyms
 every year. Most tenants are getting annoyed by moving each year as it is too expensive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on a mortgage
instead
Linking Words
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rent. They believe that by spending
money
Use synonyms
 on renting
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
, they are wasting their wealth. I take my parents as an example. They bought a
house
Use synonyms
 twenty years ago and now it has only remained five years more to pay off their mortgage and after they will own their
house
Use synonyms
 for the rest of their life.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that by being a homeowner you can show others the quality of your life and be a rich person in their views.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , it is not very easy to own a
house
Use synonyms
. You have to have enough
money
Use synonyms
 for the down payment in order to buy a
house
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. Not many
people
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 can afford the expenses to become a homeowner, especially young adults who just got married.
As a result
Linking Words
, they ask their parents to help them financially and in some cases the parents don't want to reject their kids and will help them even if they are not capable and they will go under pressure.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , there are both advantages and disadvantages aspects of owning a
house
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, I believe that it should be viewed as a positive aspect as you don't waste your
money
Use synonyms
 by buying it.
Submitted by parvane_ava on

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introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are too short. Provide a clear summary of your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and introduce it in the topic sentence.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific supporting examples. Include specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
grammar
Proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. There are several mistakes throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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