DIETING CAN PLAY MAJOR ROLE FOR KEEP HEALTHY LIFE .DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Nowadays, many

people

believe that going on a

diet

plays an important role in having a healthier

life

. I strongly agree with the statement and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, dieting not only reduces weight

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

decreases physical problems

such

as obesity and diabetes. When

people

go on a

diet

, they eat less

food

which prevents them from gaining weight.

Moreover

, they eat healthier

food

and they don't consume junk

food

like pizza, hamburgers and so on. So, when they eat less fast

food

, it leads to having a healthier

life

For instance

, my aunt gained a lot of weight when she was a child and her doctor recommended she go on a vegetable

diet

. She was 150 kilograms at the age of 20 but she reduced it to 80 kilograms over a year by dieting. Afterwards, her

life

became so much healthier than

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

it used to be.

On the other hand

, studies show that when

people

are fat, they are less happy in their lives. Psychologically speaking, being overweight leads to some mental issues

such

as depression or anxiety. Researchers

also

found that the more you are fat, the more you have a desire to suicide.

As a result

, going on a

diet

will help

people

to be more satisfied in their

life

and in most cases, it prevents mental diseases. In conclusion, dieting plays a major role in keeping

life

healthy and not only will have a healthier physical

life

, but you

also

have better mental health.

Submitted by parvane_ava on Wed Oct 04 2023

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task achievement

Provide more detailed examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear topic sentences and supporting details in each paragraph.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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DIETING CAN PLAY MAJOR ROLE FOR KEEP HEALTHY LIFE .DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantageous of taking risks outweigh the disadvantageous?

Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?