A recent newspaper article reports that a 14 year old boy, who seriously damaged his school, got a punishment to clean streets instead of being sent to the prison. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or should alternative forms of punishment be used?

#newspaper #article #reports #year #boy #school #punishment #streets #prison #criminals #alternative #forms

it's reported that a 14-year-old boy has been punished since he made

a serious detriments

Correct the article-noun agreement

serious detriments

a serious detriment

show examples

to his school. but he only needed to clean streets rather than being jailed. from my perspective, alternative forms of

punishment

should be tailored to the individual needs of young

offenders

Change preposition

show examples

the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

, community service can boost the criminal rate of juveniles. the young

offenders

have realized they will not have any negative consequences for their future even though they make big mistakes. more and more pupils imitate and act it out. prison may increase the likelihood of young

offenders

reoffending.

secondly

, it is not valid for young criminals

understand

Fix the infinitive

to understand

show examples

the impact of

theic

Correct your spelling

these

actions,

commmunity

Correct your spelling

community

services are too light to inspire them. alternative forms of

punishment

can be more effective for young criminals to avoid

punishment

. in conclusion, more serious

punishment

should

put

Add a missing verb

be put

show examples

into use, and to some extent, it can reduce the rate of young

offenders

Submitted by asllchkied on Wed Oct 04 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

154 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: <4

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: <4

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

juveniles
delinquency
rehabilitation
reintegration
recidivism
deterrent
impact
consequences
community service
restorative justice

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A recent newspaper article reports that a 14 year old boy, who seriously damaged his school, got a punishment to clean streets instead of being sent to the prison. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or should alternative forms of punishment be used?

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Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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