IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Academic achievements at school or university is the only true measure of a person’s intelligence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#achievements #school #university #measure #person’s #intelligence
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A person usually
spent
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
 their study time at
school
Use synonyms
 or
university
Use synonyms
, it can be the reason why there is a statement that says the only measurement of someone's intelligence is their achievements at
school
Use synonyms
 or
university
Use synonyms
, especially in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
. But
that is
Linking Words
 not true and will be discussed
further
Linking Words
 as follows.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are not many people that
blessed
Add a missing verb
are blessed
show examples
 with decent
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and some even can not attend
university
Use synonyms
. In that terms, many people can not do very well with their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 they do have many other values that
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 in line with
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum.
For instance
Linking Words
, one basketball player
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got kicked
from
Change preposition
out of
show examples
 his
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 because he
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 not
catching
Change the verb form
catch
be catching
show examples
 up with the
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 of his
school
Use synonyms
, but ended up being a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 basketball player.
Nevertheles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, a lot of people spent their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
, like when they started kindergarten until they
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 college, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 almost no gap in between. But again,
school
Use synonyms
 is not their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. Some
school
Use synonyms
forced
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 their student to study what they think is good, but do not really care if the students are comfortable
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 not with that, that leave the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 confused and turns out
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
bad grades.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a movie that tells a story about a stupid kid
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 always
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 0 for his test, until he
met
Wrong verb form
meets
show examples
 a great teacher
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
understand
Change the verb form
understands
show examples
 him and can
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
show examples
 him into a math championship. In conclusion, measuring someone's intelligence based on their academic achievement at
school
Use synonyms
 or
university
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is not a great thing to do since not everyone
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 all of their lives at
school
Use synonyms
 or
university
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ditajulaikaputri on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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