Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impacts on environment and on people who lost their job because of it.

These days, people have been using online platforms to shop and purchase things

instead

of going to physical

shops

. The impacts of online shopping on both the environment and individuals will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.

To begin

with, the uprising trend of online shopping can have some effects on the environment.

Firstly

, a vast amount of resources are being used in order to respond to the order of buying online

such

as wood furniture, crafting ornaments, etc. It will lead to cutting more surrounding trees in our societies to build those things.

Secondly

, During the manufacturing process, plenty of chemical substances are used by producers,

for instance

, in the dying process for colouring clothes. These producers sometimes dump those substances into the rivers or fields around their factory which in turn affect communities around that area.

Additionally

, a lot of workers are being laid off because of the use of online shopping. At

first,

many physical

shops

do not need

staff

in their

shops

anymore to explain the details of their products to customers.

For example

, IKEA puts their product details under or beside the pictures of their products

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to the customers just

read

Wrong verb form

reading

show examples

it on the website and not needing to come to their physical

shops

Furthermore

, to maintain the online platform, owners only need some

staff

to maintain their websites. To illustrate, they hire only IT

staff

in order to look after their pages and several

staff

to collect purchasing data.

Overall

, the rise of online shopping these modern days can have effects on both the environment and individuals

Submitted by nnatthinee on Mon May 13 2024

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Introduction

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint or what the essay will discuss. A more direct statement of your main points in the introduction could enhance clarity.

Conclusion

Include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your viewpoint in a conclusive manner. This helps reinforce your arguments and provides a clear closure.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.

Task Achievement

For a higher task achievement score, expand on your ideas with more specific examples and detailed explanations to fully address all parts of the prompt.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Revisit your essay to correct any grammatical errors and ensure variety in your sentence structures for a more engaging read.

Structure

You provided a logical structure that organized the essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a different aspect of the topic.

Use of Examples

The examples you used, such as IKEA's product presentation and the environmental impact of manufacturing, helped illustrate your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impacts on environment and on people who lost their job because of it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more ?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?