IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #art #lives #purpose #distraction #life
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Many
people
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 accept that
art
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 provides motivation and encourages
people
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 to do something meaningful in
life
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whereas
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 others argue that it hinders individuals from the reality of
life
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.
While
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 I perceive that
art
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 plays a vital role in everyone’s
life
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, I believe it is a distraction as well.
This
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 essay discusses both aspects and exemplifies those points. On the one hand,
art
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 is a way of expressing our emotions, culture, foresight, etc., and
thus
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artwork
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 helps
people
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 to relate to each other. It inspires
people
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 to find the meaning of
life
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 and show love and affection to each other.
For instance
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, the Yin Yang symbol which is a great
artwork
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 symbolizes that there is good in every bad thing and vice-versa. It tells that the meaning of
life
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 is to spread love and accept each other without focusing on the odds in individuals since one can
cannot
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not
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 live without another and
thus
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 encourages society to practice love and peace.
On the other hand
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, others argue that
art
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 cannot provide them with a livelihood and
thus
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 it is a distraction from real-
life
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 problems. They believe that
artwork
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 is a luxurious item that cannot be afforded by everyone. They want to draw attention towards the problems that
people
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 are dealing with like poverty, diseases, war, etc., and
artwork
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 cannot help to resolve these issues and
therefore
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 it is just a hindrance. They advocate for education and health care systems.
To conclude
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,
while
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art
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 is essential for depicting any
societies’
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society’s
show examples
 cultural or heritage
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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 and providing the meaning of
life
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 to individuals, there are other issues as well that can not be solved by just
artwork
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.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 consider it a distraction from
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 problems.
Submitted by sharmabrijesh39 on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully address both views and provide a clear opinion.
task achievement
Some ideas and examples could be further developed and explained.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Consider providing more examples and elaborating on their significance.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure for better clarity.
lexical resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • cathartic
  • cultural tapestry
  • expressionism
  • fleeting
  • introspection
  • monetary value
  • nostalgia
  • profound impact
  • socioeconomic
  • subjective perspective
  • visceral response
What to do next:
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