Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

Nowadays, the

crime

rate is rising. By taking a look at the problem, we’ll notice several reasons that affect the issue. The most prominent cause is a lot of ex-convicts return to commit crimes after they get out of prison. In

this

essay, I’ll focus on discussing the causes, motivations and solutions of why ex-prisoners back to breaking laws again.

Firstly

, one of the main reasons guilty people return for villainy is how the government deals with these prisoners. When any guilty person

does

Verb problem

commits

show examples

crime

, he/she is placed in prison with other criminals. By doing that, the gov. encourages him/her to get new evil thoughts from inmates.

Also

, it gives ex-prisoners the feeling that they belong to these people, to the

crime

field.

Secondly

, how society treats ex-convicts. When they get out of prison, the community

already

Add a missing verb

is already

show examples

determined that they will stay criminals forever. People don’t look at them as citizens. They stay conscious and expect them to commit a new

crime

. wherefore, they don’t have anything to lose. They don’t have friends or jobs.

Finally

, ex-criminals feel nostalgia for the world of

crime

. Crimes make the lawbreaker excited and thrilled.

In addition

, offence gives them power as they are breaking laws.

Furthermore

, they cannot lose the only power they have.

Submitted by moaznashy123 on Wed Oct 04 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Consider organizing your ideas in a clearer and more logical manner.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and interesting.

grammatical range accuracy

Improve the accuracy of your grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

212 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet therefore is no need of museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

It is not necessary for people to travel to another places to learn about culture. We can learn as much from books, films, and the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

More developing countries are being given aid by international organisations to help them in their development plan. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.