Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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While
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it is often thought that the
government
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should be accountable for public
health
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, other
people
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believe that
people
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ought to be responsible for their
health
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. In my opinion, I consider that the governments in every country have to take responsibility for the well-being of their citizens. On the one hand,
according to
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some, the
government
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plays an essential role in ensuring that everyone is healthy because a country cannot progress without healthy societies.
In other words
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, when the public is healthy, they can help the country to develop because they can share their knowledge in many fields,
such
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as education and
health
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.
Furthermore
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, medical expenses can be extremely high and some cannot afford them. In
this
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case, it is important for the
government
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to help its citizens.
For instance
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, in the UK,
although
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the inflation rate is high,
people
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still can get the best medical treatment thanks to free
health
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care.
Hence
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,
people
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there do not need to worry about their
health
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issues.
On the other hand
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, some individuals may claim that in order to stay healthy,
people
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should be responsible for their own
health
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. One reason why
people
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are sick is that they do not have a healthy diet.
That is
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to say, they consume foods which are high in calories and fats, and because of that, they start gaining weight.
For example
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, the rate of obesity in America keeps on increasing every year because
people
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do not care about what they consume.
Therefore
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, in order to be healthy,
people
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have to change their diet. Another reason is that
people
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these days do not have an active lifestyle. When they lead a sedentary lifestyle, they will not be able to burn calories and eventually, they become overweight.
As a result
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,
people
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should be active physically in order to have a healthy body.
To sum up
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, though
people
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may vary in their opinions, I think that without the
government
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's help,
people
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will not be able to have a healthy life. If every
government
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in every nation were responsible for their citizens'
health
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, the number of sick
people
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would reduce
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction to explicitly state your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a concluding statement that summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
Add more supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Revise the conclusion to provide a stronger closing statement.
lexical resource
Watch out for repetitive language, use synonyms or different expressions to make your writing more varied and interesting.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • public health campaigns
  • regulatory measures
  • vaccination programs
  • health crises
  • proactive steps
  • lifestyle choices
  • personal hygiene
  • financial burden
  • neglect
  • collaboration
  • mutual accountability
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