Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

While
it is often thought that the
government
should be accountable for public
health
, other
people
believe that
people
ought to be responsible for their
health
. In my opinion, I consider that the governments in every country have to take responsibility for the well-being of their citizens. On the one hand,
according to
some, the
government
plays an essential role in ensuring that everyone is healthy because a country cannot progress without healthy societies.
In other words
, when the public is healthy, they can help the country to develop because they can share their knowledge in many fields,
such
as education and
health
.
Furthermore
, medical expenses can be extremely high and some cannot afford them. In
this
case, it is important for the
government
to help its citizens.
For instance
, in the UK,
although
the inflation rate is high,
people
still can get the best medical treatment thanks to free
health
care.
Hence
,
people
there do not need to worry about their
health
issues.
On the other hand
, some individuals may claim that in order to stay healthy,
people
should be responsible for their own
health
. One reason why
people
are sick is that they do not have a healthy diet.
That is
to say, they consume foods which are high in calories and fats, and because of that, they start gaining weight.
For example
, the rate of obesity in America keeps on increasing every year because
people
do not care about what they consume.
Therefore
, in order to be healthy,
people
have to change their diet. Another reason is that
people
these days do not have an active lifestyle. When they lead a sedentary lifestyle, they will not be able to burn calories and eventually, they become overweight.
As a result
,
people
should be active physically in order to have a healthy body.
To sum up
, though
people
may vary in their opinions, I think that without the
government
's help,
people
will not be able to have a healthy life. If every
government
in every nation were responsible for their citizens'
health
, the number of sick
people
would reduce
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction to explicitly state your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a concluding statement that summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
Add more supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Revise the conclusion to provide a stronger closing statement.
lexical resource
Watch out for repetitive language, use synonyms or different expressions to make your writing more varied and interesting.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments.
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