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Band 4

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
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In today's society,
children
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 are experiencing a lot of
stresses
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stress
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of
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in
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 academic, social and commercial ways.
This
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 essay intends to discuss the causes of
this
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 problem and suggest some measures to alleviate these pressures.
This
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 problem
have
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has
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 several causes.First of all, today's
children
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 are not competing with each other through their knowledge in school or competitions .
However
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,their
parents
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 want
to
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apply
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that
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apply
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their
children
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 must be
a
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apply
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good
at
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in
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 every field.So their
parents
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 send their
children
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 to the good schools.And their school
baggs
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bags
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 will be very heavier than the
child
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 himself.After school hours , there are some tuitions to study for every
child
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.
This
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 is
an
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the
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 academic pressure of
this
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 situation.
Moreover
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, there are more social and commercial conditions amongst the
children
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.
For example
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 , in many cases,
children
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 see the latest modern
of
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apply
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telephones, computers and
another things
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another thing
other things
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on
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in
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 the hands of friends.After that, they may want to buy
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of
thing
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things
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 for themselves.But they may have not
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the scopes
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scopes
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scope
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 to do so.
And which
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Which
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 in turn
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Linking Words
this
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apply
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will be the root of
get
Verb problem
apply
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stress. There are
also
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 many solutions to reduce these pressures .It is more correct to say that many duties
is
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are
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 on
parents
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.Because of
this
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, every
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parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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 should divide the time
to
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for
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 their
children
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 to study.If
the
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apply
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people
to
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apply
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do so,
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child's
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the child's
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duty
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duties
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 decrease a little
bitt
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bit
show examples
.
Othervise
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Otherwise
,
also
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 teachers and schools must
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
 more to
children
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.
Correct quantifier usage
more.
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The teachers have to teach pupils
with
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apply
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interesting things and so
also
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 they have to give
times
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time
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 to demonstrate their hidden talents
Children
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 may not have any academic pressure.
To conclude
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,it ,it is reiterated every
child
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 is
exposuring
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exposing
 more pressures
such
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 as academic, social and commercial.I would say that if
above
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the above
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 steps are taken, all of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 problems would
solve
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be solved
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
What to do next:
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