Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In today's society,
children
are experiencing a lot of
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
academic, social and commercial ways.
This
essay intends to discuss the causes of
this
problem and suggest some measures to alleviate these pressures.
This
problem
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
several causes.First of all, today's
children
are not competing with each other through their knowledge in school or competitions .
However
,their
parents
want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their
children
must be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
good
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
every field.So their
parents
send their
children
to the good schools.And their school
baggs
Correct your spelling
bags
show examples
will be very heavier than the
child
himself.After school hours , there are some tuitions to study for every
child
.
This
is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
academic pressure of
this
situation.
Moreover
, there are more social and commercial conditions amongst the
children
.
For example
, in many cases,
children
see the latest modern
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
telephones, computers and
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the hands of friends.After that, they may want to buy
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
for themselves.But they may have not
Correct article usage
the scopes
show examples
scopes
Fix the agreement mistake
scope
show examples
to do so.
And which
Correct word choice
Which
show examples
in turn
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be the root of
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stress. There are
also
many solutions to reduce these pressures .It is more correct to say that many duties
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
on
parents
.Because of
this
, every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
should divide the time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
children
to study.If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do so,
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
show examples
decrease a little
bitt
Correct your spelling
bit
show examples
.
Othervise
Correct your spelling
Otherwise
,
also
teachers and schools must
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
more to
children
.
Correct quantifier usage
more.
show examples
The teachers have to teach pupils
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interesting things and so
also
they have to give
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to demonstrate their hidden talents
Children
may not have any academic pressure.
To conclude
,it ,it is reiterated every
child
is
exposuring
Correct your spelling
exposing
more pressures
such
as academic, social and commercial.I would say that if
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
steps are taken, all of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
problems would
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: