IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You want to book a hotel that one of your friends recommended to you for a family holiday at the seaside. Write a letter to the hotel manager to make arrangements. In your letter, explain what accommodation you require and when you want to stay ask what will be included in the price enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter regarding the booking of a hotel room one of my friends suggested your hotel he visited
last
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 year in Summer with his family , all of his family members really liked the stay and the prices are
also
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 very reasonable with great services
along with
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this
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 they really like the food as your resort have different varieties from different Cusines .
Moreover
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, I am looking for four people myself , my wife and two children who are 8 years old .
According to
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 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 really wanted two king-size bedrooms with a Sea view am planning to visit in the months of July 21st and July 28th.
Furthermore
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, Please provide me with the details of other rooms you have available on above mentioned dates
such
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 as room sizes and Suites.
Apart from
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this
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, My friend mentioned your hotel in summer always arranges different activities and what kind of facilities you have to perform. I will be waiting for your response . Your's Sincerely,

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coherence and cohesion
Reorganize the content for better flow; perhaps separate the accommodation request from inquiries about activities and facilities.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical issues and punctuation, such as ensuring proper use of commas and sentence structure.
task achievement
Include a more specific request for the types of activities you are interested in, such as water sports or tours, to enhance your request.
task achievement
Consider using a more formal closing such as 'Yours faithfully' or simply 'Sincerely', as this aligns with the tone expected in formal letters.
general
Your letter conveys a friendly and polite tone, which is essential for these types of communications.
task achievement
You effectively provided details about the number of guests and the type of rooms needed, which is important for a hotel booking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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