IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and better language skills than people who prefer to watch TV. Do you agree or disagree?

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Most
people
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 prefer reading
books
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 to watching TV. Reading
books
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 requires more concentration than watching television. Reading makes the person calm and helps to improve their language skills. I strongly believe that reading novels or any scientific
books
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 gives more benefits despite eyeing TV.
Firstly
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, the students who read
books
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 have more knowledge.
Whereas
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 children who watch the
films
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 are less intelligent.
For instance
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, some
people
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 are habituated to reading from their childhood and have fast grasping power
on the other hand
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, citizens who watch
films
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 have a poor understanding. Reading is the best thing to do in our daily life to be a knowledgeable person. In my opinion, Watching
films
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 is the time pass thing most
people
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 do, but reading is not like that. One example of
that is
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 that reading helps to improve language skills where
people
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 can use it to interact with different kinds of colleagues from various countries.
However
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, the knowledge we gain by reading scientific
books
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 can be used anywhere in the world and is not wasted. As we know, watching the screen too much time results in eye-related issues. Apart from that, watching
films
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 is just for entertainment purposes it is not used to get any information from movies. In conclusion, to summarize
this
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, reading
books
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 like novels, fiction, and poetry gives a peaceful mind
instead
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 of getting headaches by watching movies. As far as I am concerned, reading makes the public more powerful in languages
in contrast
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 to seeing different kinds of shows on television.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a clearer position in your introduction and summarizing your main points more explicitly in your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transitional words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument in favor of reading over watching TV, which is a strong response to the question.
Task Achievement
You provide a personal opinion which adds a unique touch to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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