IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Young drivers are careless & overconfident, and too many are killed in accidents. To eliminate this problem, we could teach children the skills of safe driving while they are at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#drivers #accidents #children #skills #school
Nowadays in Viet
Nam
Add a comma
,Nam
show examples
 the more people use means of
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 routine, the more
teennagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 can use
this
 to move everywhere
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want.
Correct your spelling
Teenagers
Teennagers
Add a verb
areTeennagers
wereTeennagers
show examples
 very overconfident and careless, they
assumed
Wrong verb form
assume
show examples
 of
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 drive means of
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 very well,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
Add a missing verb
are self-sufficent
show examples
self-sufficent
Correct your spelling
self-sufficient
 number one. But they lack many skills to
solution
Replace the word
solve
show examples
 the problem when they face trouble in the way.
And almost
Correct word choice
Almost
show examples
their
Correct determiner usage
all their
show examples
 teacher
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
teach
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 how to drive
means
Change preposition
by means
show examples
 of
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 but teach less skill of safe driving. So in my opinion,
educator
Fix the agreement mistake
educators
show examples
 can teach them how to
safe driving
Verb problem
drive safely
show examples
while
 they at school. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society everything is developing very fast,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 melody of
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
 life
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 high. Many parents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their work and neglect their children. They press for the time with their child, they cannot bring
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 to school so they buy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their child a kind of transport in order to move everywhere. It is
worst
Add an article
the worst
show examples
 scenario, they have just
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
 how to drive and
neglcet
Correct your spelling
neglect
 how to safe driving because it
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
 time and they can concentrate on their work. The kid who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 just
known
Verb problem
begun
show examples
 driving
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 self-sufficient. They use means of
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 when they
too
Add a missing verb
are too
show examples
 young for
this
 so they think
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 very better than other children. they
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 show off they can
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
professional
Change the word
professionally
show examples
 to everyone but
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 lack important skills
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 safe driving. We must teach it to them and we can bring it
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the curriculum.I think it very essential and
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
. we can minimize the accident
Submitted by tram.vomy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: