.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

It is generally believed that the development of parks and sports facilities is more important than the development of shopping malls. I strongly agree with

this

statement, and the reasons will be explained in

this

article.

Firstly

, it is advisable for some individuals to consider the significance of shopping districts.

This

is probably because it is a place that sells various items.

For example

, people come here to buy food.

Additionally

, it generates income for the residents since they can become sellers.

Therefore

, the amount of money in the town has increased. In my opinion, these places should be the focus in the future: sports facilities and parks. We should prioritize them when planning new cities as they have numerous benefits.

Firstly

this

encourages citizens of all ages to exercise because there are many activities for them to do,

such

as teenagers playing football with friends and adults running or jogging.

Additionally

this

place can strengthen family bonds.

For example

, children go on a picnic with their parents during the weekends. So, these activities help people to release stress and become stronger.

Therefore

, they are essential for the well-being of individuals within a community. All in all,

while

there is no denying that shopping malls are important because they create employment opportunities for individuals, I think parks are

also

important because people can engage in various activities within the area and improve their physical fitness and mental health.

Submitted by y2083749065 on Thu Oct 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

lexical

Ensure consistent use of formal language and avoid contractions (e.g., it's, can't).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.
Job has been becoming one of the most important choices in people’s lives. While some argue that people should settle down at the same job for the sake of society and companies, others believe that they should be encouraged to change their jobs frequently. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives, and I think the latter view is more persuasive.
6.5
band
There are more and more negative news.Some think that would harm the individual and the society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, people are often exposed to negative news that can affect an individual's behaviour, personality, and community. Some people may not agree with this topic, but I firmly believe that people are easily influenced by bad news.
5.5
band
some people believe that professionalsi such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country
Recently, people who had professional education have become a popular topic and many people think it is worth discussing. However, they still have not come to an agreement with each other on whether professional trainees like doctors and engineers can work wherever they want such as abroad or after graduating, they can stay and work in the same country. Whatever each side of the argument thinks, I strongly agree that they should work no matter where.
4.5
band
more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks these days. Some people think procrastination is the prime reason for the failure in life. Do you agree or disagree
Traditionally, people recognized as successful are known for achieving goals in life. There are plenty of explanations of why people are not capable, nowadays, to accomplishing their own projects for their future. Therefore,a part of society believes that procrastination is the prime reason for failure in life. I tend to agree with that since procrastination for is already an obstacle for itself to be overcome and reach productivity.
9
band
It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these days and age, it is argued that educational courses put excessive emphasis on academic aspects based on reliable material resources, and the young learners should be educated about practical points that have versatile applications in their lives, including household management, work and interpersonal skills. From my perspective, children can gain comprehensive development by incorporating theoretical and practical education.

.When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

There are more and more negative news.Some think that would harm the individual and the society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that professionalsi such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country

more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks these days. Some people think procrastination is the prime reason for the failure in life. Do you agree or disagree

It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?