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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given illustration represents the difference between libraries in 2001 and 8 years later.
Overall
Linking Words
, the huge changes were in the western and eastern sides of the
map
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, almost no change was in the southern
side
Use synonyms
 of the
map
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that in the past the
lest
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 of the
map
Use synonyms
 was for
seft
Correct your spelling
soft
 help and history, but in 2009 there added rooms
such
Linking Words
 as fiction,kitchen,economics and low.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the northern
side
Use synonyms
 of the
map
Use synonyms
 changed,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 fiction changed for children’s
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 and children’s
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. It is obvious that the eastern
side
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed.
For example
Linking Words
, newspapers and periodicals changed for films and DVDs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tables which were located in the centre were changed for one big.
In addition
Linking Words
 under the newspapers added two medium size computers. It is interesting to note that the southern
side
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
 almost did not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 in 8 years. In somewheres
size
Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
show examples
 might be increased only.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-service machines
  • computer stations
  • digital resources
  • book sections
  • fiction, non-fiction, reference
  • café area
  • repositioned
  • user preferences
  • management strategies
  • children's area
  • youth engagement
  • educational activities
  • meeting rooms
  • collaborative spaces
  • community events
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