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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals think that children should have to spend their time mostly at school, and
this
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 should be continued till 18 years old. I completely disagree with
this
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 statement, and in
this
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 ,article I will provide my reasons.
Firstly
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, full-time education will limit students to a high extent. The reason might be the fact that if their
life
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 is devoted to studying,
then
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 there is no time to improve other important and crucial
skills
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 like social
skills
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 or other abilities
such
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 as painting or singing. It has to be noted that these
skills
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 are as important as education, and being restricted to academic
subjects
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 will make children not thrive in other aspects.
Thus
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, it is vital to bear in mind that different aspects of
life
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 are as important as studying.
Secondly
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, 18 years constitute a large proportion of one's
life
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, and until
this
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 ,age a child should enrol in other activities to release his extra energy. He has to play with his classmates
while
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 learning academic
subjects
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.
This
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 is why some schools consider extracurricular activities, too.
For example
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, we can see that swimming pools are always full of students between breaks, and research has shown that these peers have better performance compared to those who devote their time only to studying.
However
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, school authorities have to consider that being educated is the factor that prepares children for future
life
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.
Furthermore
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, a lot of occupations are related to being educated.
For instance
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, an astronomer or a physician has to have a degree from university. As convincing as
this
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 point is, a child can learn academic
subjects
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 and other abilities simultaneously, and
this
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 is how
this
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 person can thrive
further
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.
To sum up
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, full-time education is demanded to a large extent, but
this
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 will limit one to only school, and parents and teachers have to assist in promoting other
skills
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.
Therefore
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, other
subjects
Use synonyms
 and activities should be incorporated into a child's schedule.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay clearly states your position on the topic and provides a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into paragraphs to improve coherence and readability.
lexical resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice to improve grammatical accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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