Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

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Nowadays, children are playing extremely violent

games

Use synonyms

and it is often argued that

this

Linking Words

is the reason for the rapid increase in

crime

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rate among large cities across the world. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and think that

offspring's

Correct article usage

the offspring's

show examples

lifestyle and their human nature will make them criminals.

Firstly

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, violence comes from human nature, like aggression and irritation, but blaming violent video

games

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as the main cause is wrong. In the past, kids used to play

games

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involving real fights, but now they mostly play virtual

games

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. So,

games

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aren't making the world more violent, and children's

games

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can't be blamed for more

crime

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Also

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, there is no clear proof of how

games

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affect kids.

For example

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, despite more than 20 years of investigation, researchers have failed to prove the connection between violent video

games

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and acts of violence. That's why

games

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will not affect children.

Moreover

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, other factors like

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family environment, social issues and mental health play vital roles in

crime

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rates.

Crime

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rates are influenced by a complex interplay of various factors, including family upbringing, socioeconomic conditions, access to education, mental health, and community support. These factors have a more substantial impact on whether individuals engage in criminal activities.

For instance

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, people play violent video

games

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, but these

games

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don't affect everyone the same way. Personal life experiences and circumstances have a more substantial impact on behaviour than the

games

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themselves. In conclusion, every city has to concentrate on other aspects of preventing crimes

instead

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of attributing them solely to the

games

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. They have to address overpopulation, unemployment and poverty in greater detail to prevent high

crime

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rates and violence.

sreyakaruturiThu Oct 05 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the question and provides a clear opinion with appropriate arguments. Stay focused on the topic at hand and avoid digressing into unrelated points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good organization and coherence. However, ensure that your ideas are logically connected, and each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.