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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
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The chart illustrates the amount of
money
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 for consumer goods in two different countries:
France
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 and the United Kingdom in 2010. The items are measured in pounds sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
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 the expenditure of the
UK
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 is higher than that of
France
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the British and French spend the most
money
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 on cars, it changes in the least
money
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 section.
While
Linking Words
 the British prefer the perfume at
low
Add an article
a low
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 level, it is the cameras for
French
Correct article usage
the French
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. In terms of cars, both in the
UK
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 and
France
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, a large amount of
money
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 is spent ( 450,000 and 400,000 pounds sterling respectively). The perfume is shown
the
Change preposition
as the
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 lowest indicator in the
UK
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 which consists of £150,000 only as its expenditure demonstrates £200,000
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is preferred by the French.
However
Linking Words
, people spend just over 350,000 on cameras
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is nearly doubled in
France
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 sector.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the British tend to buy books rather than computers, the chart shows that it differs roughly by
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
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 thousand pound sterling in
France
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. ( just above £400,000 and £300,000 respectively). There is a small proportion of the difference in the computer sector.
While
Linking Words
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
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 computers consists of approximately £ 380,000 it maintains only £350,000 in
French
Replace the word
France
show examples
.
Submitted by ulviyyebabayeva2004 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, france, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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