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Band 5.5

5.The graph gives information about people of different age groups in New Zealand who went to a fitness center twice a week or more. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

5.The graph gives information about people of different age groups in New Zealand who went to a fitness center twice a week or more. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#information #people #age #groups #zealand #fitness #center #week #features #comparisons
The line chart below displays
individuals
 of different age ranges who went to the gym two or more times a week in New Zealand
Overall
, the
percentage
 of
people
 who went to the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 from 18-28 and 29-39
years
 old increased rapidly. Humans with age from 40 to 50 rose moderately and the group of 51 to 61 remained relatively stable. In 1995
individuals
 from 29 to 39 had around 17% of
people
 going to exercise rooms, being the ones that
goes
Change the verb form
go
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 to the gym the most,
this
percentage
 grew gradually during the next 5
years
 to 22%, from 2000 to 2005 the
rate
 started to drop moderately and from 2005 to 2020 it rose modestly and from 2020 to the end of the
period
 the
percentage
 rocketed dramatically from 25% to 40%. 15% of
individuals
 from 18 to 28
years
 old went to the fitness
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in 1995
this
 number varied
Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 during the next 20
years
,
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 in 2020
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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around 18% of
people
 going to the gym, after 2020
this
 varied steeply, finalising the
period
 with 30% of
individuals
People
 from 40 to 50 started the
period
 with just over 5%,
this
rate
 rose slowly
from
Change preposition
apply
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during the next 20
years
 with a
rate
 of 10% in 2020,
afterwards
Add a comma
,afterwards
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 it grew slightly to
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 under 15%
at the end
 of the
period
.
Individuals
 from the
rage
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 of 51 to 61 at the beginning of the
period
, only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% of
people
 went to the exercise room,
this
percentage
 maintained relatively stable between 1995 and 2020, after 2020
this
 number increased slightly to
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 8%, maintaining its lowest
rate
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words individuals, percentage, people, years, rate, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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