Your photograph recently won a photography competition and will be shown in an exhibition. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the photograph you sent to the competition •tell him/her about the exhibition where your photo will be shown •invite him/her to the exhibition
Dear jay,
I am writing
this
letter with regard to share
my happiness with you and inviting you to be a part of my success story.
Wrong verb form
sharing
To begin
with,as you know I am a passionate photographer,who never misses any chance to participate in a photography competition.Furthermore
,last
month,I got an opportunity to represent my work in the photography competition at the town library and luckily I won the first prize of 1500$.
In addition
,I have a collection of multiple photos,but I submitted the photo,which I took from the mountain last
week.Moreover
,that image not only demonstrates the beauty of that mountain but also
it
reflects my camera skills.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
,my captured image was selected by authorities to be shown in an exhibition.
Lastly
,I am very excited about this
exhibition and I am also
inviting you and your family to be a part of this
special occasion on the upcoming weekend.
Please let me know if you require any further
information about this
programme.
Yours sincerely,
ParthkumSubmitted by pp6859 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each idea is presented in its own paragraph. For example, your opening sentence about sharing happiness can be separated from the detailed description of the photograph.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly. You might start with your excitement about the achievement, followed by a detailed description of the photograph, then information about the exhibition, and finally the invitation.
suitable writing tone
Your writing tone is appropriate and friendly, making the letter engaging for your friend.
complete response
The letter successfully addresses all points of the task, including the description of the photograph, details about the exhibition, and the invitation.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite