IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The ongoing debate revolves around whether
children
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 should have
responsibilities
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 for skill development or the freedom to enjoy their
childhood
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 without excessive burdens. In my opinion, finding the right balance between
responsibilities
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 and leisure
time
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 is what
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
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 to ensure a
wellrounded
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well-rounded
show examples
childhood
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 experience. The positive
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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 of giving
children
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responsibilities
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 at a very young age is that it will teach them valuable skills
such
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 as
time
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 management, organisation, and accountability.
Moreover
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, it helps them build character and work ethic.
For example
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, a
12 year old
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12-year-old
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 given the responsibility to do household chores like doing dishes ,folding laundry or taking out trash will eventually
learns
Change the verb form
learn
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 the importance of contributing to the family and develop skills like
time
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 management, organisation etc.
On the contrary
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, If the kids are able to enjoy their life by engaging in play, hobbies and social interaction it will contribute to their
overall
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 development. Allowing
children
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 to enjoy their lives without excessive
responsibilities
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 can foster a positive mental and emotional state, reducing stress and promoting happiness.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 consider a group of
children
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gathers
Wrong verb form
gathering
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 in a local park or playground and
engages
Wrong verb form
engaging
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 in unstructured play.
This
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 unstructured playtime allows the
children
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 to explore their imagination,
interests
Correct word choice
and interests
show examples
, enhance their creativity, and develop social skills. In conclusion, striking a balance between
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 and leisure
time
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 is essential for a
wellrounded
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well-rounded
show examples
childhood
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. It is important to consider each child's unique needs and find a middle ground that nurtures both responsibility and enjoyment, ensuring a fulfilling and balanced
childhood
Use synonyms
 experience

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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