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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The increased world demand for oil in gas has made it necessary for locating these resources in remote and untouched natural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging these nature areas?

#world #demand #oil #gas #resources #areas #nature
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The modern era of industrialization increases the demand for oil and
gas
. With
this
 increasing demand, it has become very important to identify and extract these fossil
fuels
 from the reservoirs. I strongly believe that the cons of tapping these untouched natural
resources
 outweigh the pros. First of all, natural
resources
 are not renewable, so we have to make sure of their proper use. Fossil
fuel
 was made billions of years ago and trapped underneath the earth's surface. It takes millions of years to form oil and
gas
,
thus
 making these
resources
 nonrenewable. If we do not extract these
fuels
 wisely, there will be no
fuel
 left for the future.
For example
, many countries like Bangladesh have been pulled out of their petroleum reserves, putting their
gas
resources
 in alarming condition.
Furthermore
, the use of
fuel
 is directly related to global warming, and extracting
this
fuel
 will make it worse. Burning oil and
gas
 are the main causes of the rise of carbon dioxide and harmful compounds in the atmosphere, which is the main reason for the greenhouse effect.
This
 will bust up global
worming
Correct your spelling
warming
show examples
, cause serious damage to the ecosystem, and promote sea level rise. To illustrate, a recent study shows that the world's temperature has increased
so
Rephrase
more
show examples
 rapidly than ever before because of the greenhouse effect, and the main contributor to
this
 rise is petroleum.
Although
 it is irrefutable that petroleum plays a vital role in a nation's development, All industries, transportation, and power generation houses depend on these natural
resources
.
For instance
, in developing countries, the major source of electricity generation comes from power plants running on fossil
fuels
.
To conclude
, fossil
fuels
 play a very important role in making our livelihoods comfortable, but they cause very serious problems in the environment. Given that the availability of
this
 resource is very definite, it would not be a wise decision to go for
further
 excavation rather than give more focus to renewable
resources
.
Submitted by jonahid.stu20ju on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages of damaging the natural areas and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to the usage of grammar, especially subject-verb agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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