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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation
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In the past years, vocational education has been one of the popular options for youngsters. In numerous nations, the youth population prefers to take these kinds of courses rather than enrol in university, which has a myriad of benefits that overshadow the drawbacks,
such
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 as becoming
skillful
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skilful
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 and earning money at the same time, in a short period.
This
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 essay intends to illustrate those benefits and possible disadvantages. Nowadays, a vast number of individuals take work-based training courses. They possibly desire to enter into a work environment without spending many years in universities, since these
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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 provide almost all the members with a minimum wage
as well as
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 tutoring various work-skills.
For example
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, becoming a personal trainer has been one of the
most
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apply
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favourite goals for a number of young individuals particularly men in the past decades. In today's era, achieving
this
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 goal is easily accessible by enrolling in vocational training.
Consequently
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, they learn about various gym equipment, start earning money at the very first steps and become a real coach after a number of years.
On the contrary
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, students who study in universities, learn a significant deal of academic lessons which are usually helpful in their future
career
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careers
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.
For instance
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, coaches who achieved their licence in academic institutions are more likely to know about different muscles and how they exactly perform;
therefore
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, they are more knowledgeable in comparison with work-based trainers. In conclusion, these days numerous people choose work-based learning rather than attending academic institutions which are more likely to nurture skilled
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
as well as
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 pay them a salary.
Although
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 these work-forces may not have enough knowledge about their career, In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by g.bohlouli96 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly to the next paragraph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammar to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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