In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

In the past years, vocational education has been one of the popular options for youngsters. In numerous nations, the youth population prefers to take these kinds of courses rather than enrol in university, which has a myriad of benefits that overshadow the drawbacks,

such

as becoming

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

and earning money at the same time, in a short period.

This

essay intends to illustrate those benefits and possible disadvantages. Nowadays, a vast number of individuals take work-based training courses. They possibly desire to enter into a work environment without spending many years in universities, since these

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

provide almost all the members with a minimum wage

as well as

tutoring various work-skills.

For example

, becoming a personal trainer has been one of the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

favourite goals for a number of young individuals particularly men in the past decades. In today's era, achieving

this

goal is easily accessible by enrolling in vocational training.

Consequently

, they learn about various gym equipment, start earning money at the very first steps and become a real coach after a number of years.

On the contrary

, students who study in universities, learn a significant deal of academic lessons which are usually helpful in their future

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

For instance

, coaches who achieved their licence in academic institutions are more likely to know about different muscles and how they exactly perform;

therefore

, they are more knowledgeable in comparison with work-based trainers. In conclusion, these days numerous people choose work-based learning rather than attending academic institutions which are more likely to nurture skilled

personnels

Correct your spelling

personnel

as well as

pay them a salary.

Although

these work-forces may not have enough knowledge about their career, In my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Submitted by g.bohlouli96 on Thu Oct 05 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a roadmap for the essay.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly to the next paragraph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammar to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK. Write at least 150 words
The table illustrates how much many a average family in UK city earned and paid for food and clothes, while the pie charts compare the proportion of those categories in the year 2010 and 2013
5
band
Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.
In this modern era, electronic gadgets play a vital role in everyday life. Smartphone is one of these devices which are easy to carry and have a huge amount of access to various things. Despite its advantages, mobile affect young people's behaviour towards another person.
6
band
In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?
There are two issues for some countries related to levels of health and lifestyle are weakened and average weights are raising. This condition is mostly caused by lifestyle including the time consumed doing exercise and the eating habits in the community. Moreover, in my perspective, there are a number of solutions which can be applied to tackle those problems.
4.5
band
Layout of a university sports centre and its redevelopment
The two given maps depict the University Sports Center in its current form and its proposed expansion. It is clear that there will be extensive changes with regard to Outdoor courts, while There are no plans to change the center of the university.
7.5
band
Some people are making new friends by using socializing network websites and internet chat rooms.Some people say that this is a good thing.Others say that people should make new friends by face to face chat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that using social media, like websites and chat applications is something good to make new friends. Meanwhile, others disagree with this and say it will be better if we make friends in real-life meetings. From my perspective, I more agree with a face to face meeting because it will avoid scammers although making friends online also have a benefit during the pandemic.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK. Write at least 150 words

Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your opinion.

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

Layout of a university sports centre and its redevelopment

Some people are making new friends by using socializing network websites and internet chat rooms.Some people say that this is a good thing.Others say that people should make new friends by face to face chat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.