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Writing Samples /
Band 7

many people prefer to work in the same field for their whole life while some prefer to change the field of work. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #work #field #life #prefer #change
In
this
 modern era, a proportion of people working in the same field for their entire lives. Meanwhile, remaining think that change is needed in the field to gain knowledge and adapt to the forthcoming jobs. I believe that they need to change their occupation to learn new skills.
This
 essay is going to explain both views and will give relevant examples to support my point. On the one hand, many people prefer to work in different fields. It helps to learn new skills in various work types.
For example
, if a person has been working on an Aeronautical project for some years, he/she is willing to move to a different project, which will help to gain more knowledge to an individual.
Moreover
, these career transformations will help to adapt to the forthcoming tasks. In the future, numerous companies will introduce a lot of placement for new projects. so an individual needs to update themselves
while
 changing careers.
Therefore
, these are the reasons why those who like to move to other fields.
On the other hand
, the rest of them have not preferred to move their occupation.
In addition
, they think it will affect our experience in the same kind of job.
Furthermore
, it will not provide a chance to increase their salary because of less experience in various works.
However
, it gets boring after a certain year and there is no opportunity to learn upcoming skills.
To conclude
,
this
 essay explains why phenomena choose to go to other fields. Evidence is presented, it will improve our knowledge and easily get a job in future. I believe that a person ought to show interest in moving various types of projects for the above-mentioned benefits
instead
 of staying in the same work.
Submitted by katrvn.subramaniyan on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points and clearly stating your opinion.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Vary your sentence structure and use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction. There are several errors throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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