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Writing Samples
Band 8

While some people consider air pollution to be the most dangerous environmental problem, others believe that soil pollution has a more serious effect on our world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
this
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 era, our planet has been destroyed by various methods and some people believe that air pollution is more dangerous than soil problem. From my perspective, I am completely of
this
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 idea.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, air pollution
that is
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 created by normal activities of the population can dangerously affect our habitat in various ways both direct and indirect. To illustrate
further
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, when the ugliest gas walks into space, it leads to a global warming issue called direct impact,
moreover
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, some unnormal phenomenons were created by it, acid rain that leads to a number of environmental topics are dangerous, and some categories of the population have been affected by its from indirect means, namely, bad water and cultivation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the soil problem is important for everyone. In the
last
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 few years, our world has been destroyed by unquality ground.
For example
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, it is the main cause of the ungreen world because when the ground is not good quality, planting trees is so hard.
As a result
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. The number of trees in our space has decreased which has led to many disadvantages in the foreseeable future.
In addition
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, farmers whose lives are dependent on the ground have become destitute lives causing the ugliest society namely stealing or economic droughts.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I am strongly of the view that air topic is the backbone compared to soil topic. because it has a direct effect on our lives
as well as
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 the planet.
However
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, I think that these issues are supposed to be revised by either the policymaker or the involver,
otherwise
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, in the future, our offspring can not survive in the bad habitat.

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coherence cohesion
To further improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will make your arguments even more seamless.
task achievement
Incorporating more specific examples and data to support your points will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive to the reader.
task achievement
You did a great job of clearly stating your opinion and discussing both views on the environmental problems of air and soil pollution.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay, providing a strong framework for your discussion.
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