In some places, workers are required to retire at a specific age. In other places, workers can retire when they choose. In your opinion, should there be a mandatory retirement age for all workers?

In
this
world, there are two different regulations. In some areas, the employees should be retired at a particular
age
. Meanwhile, in other sites,
workers
can retire by their own choices. I agree with the former notion since human stamina and energy weaken at a certain
age
and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
allow the youngster to contribute and thrive. The
age
retirement statute has numerous advantages for the
company
and the employee. The younger generation, precisely adolescents, tend to be more versatile and more creative than older
people
.
In addition
, young adults are more up-to-date about the recent advancement of technology and various issues. They can conquer a problem under pressure and tend to be multi-talented and multitasking.
Moreover
, their impact could be tremendous for a country's economy.
Although
older
people
have more experience, they are less strong than the younger employees. They are vulnerable, quickly get tired, slow, and sometimes have high blood pressure and other diseases. It can be hazardous for older
people
to work in a
company
.
Besides
, it is time for the golden
age
to rest and spend quality time with their grandchild. Even though older
people
are already retired, the
company
and government should give a pension fund for the elderly so they can continue to live without worrying about their finances. In conclusion, the regulations to retire at a specific
age
are essential as it is beneficial to the
company
and the
workers
.
additionally
, the grey population have a fragile body and health compared to the youngsters who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
agile.
Hence
, it is time for elderly
workers
to relax and enjoy their old
age
.
Furthermore
, the government and companies should provide pension plans for retired
workers
to remain financially independent.
Submitted by work.shabrinawarastri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider using more specific and detailed examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Ensure consistent use of verb tenses throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand and develop your ideas more fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory retirement age
  • progression
  • age discrimination
  • standardizing
  • workforce diversity
  • invaluable knowledge
  • expertise
  • motivated workforce
  • healthcare improvements
  • lifespans
  • physical demands
  • mental demands
  • justify
What to do next:
Look at other essays: