Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. But others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #society #individuals

Nowadays, technological development made drastic variations in our society. And, it is argued whether recent social circumstances make individuals more reliable to

others

or not.

This

essay will show you both sights of it. Recent generations are dependent because they contact a lot.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

they are independent

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they don't get

Change preposition

into situation

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

easily to get sincere

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with

others

In addition

, I totally agree with the idea that individuals are independent of each other these days. To commence with, many

people

insist that human beings are dependent. The rate of contact with

others

is increased if we compare it to the past. Because of the progress of technology, we don't have a limitation of time and distance when contacting someone anymore.

For example

, you can watch

people

who come from different countries communicate easily by using talking apps.

In addition

, you can talk with your friends or family in cyberspace even if you're not with them in reality and

people

upload their recent life by using social apps.

However

, I literally consider that the public is independent now. In the past,

people

have worked and studied together in the same place.

On the other hand

, overcoming the situation of the corona,

people

were get

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were getting

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used

meeting

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to meeting

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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online even if communication is constituted with expression of face.

For example

, teachers use Zoom or other online teaching programs to give lectures to their students.

Moreover

, workers give feedback by using messenger and it results in a lack of communication about their privacy. In conclusion, because the number of contacts

are

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show examples

increasing, it can be said that the recent generation is dependent

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others

However

, because

people

are focused on contacting

with

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apply

show examples

cyberspace using electronics

such

as mobile phones, it can be said that they don't have enough chance to participate in real communication in the same place.

Submitted by soyuyu9 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that you clearly state your opinion on the topic in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraph divisions and improve the logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Develop your ideas with more supporting details and examples.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and structure your sentences more clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalized economy
collaborative work environments
crowd-sourced
empowered
perception
availability
autonomy
reliance
shifted

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Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. But others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Due to traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or this agree with this statement?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many people say that university education should only be offered to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people with varying marks and all ages, even if they did not do well. Discuss both views and give your opinions.