IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole?

#people #tasks #business #transactions #effects #society
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times, with the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology individuals do their
work
 on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 without meeting any citizens. In my opinion,
this
 is positive development rather than
Correct article usage
a nagetive
show examples
nagetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 and my justification will come in
further
 paragraphs
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, with the help of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
people
 can do
multi
Correct word choice
multiple
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 and avoid contact with other
people
 which can save
other
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 lots of time, money
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 effort.
Additionally
, they become
indepence
Correct your spelling
independent
 and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
person
 in future.
For instance
, there are many
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 individuals
required
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need help
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other human beings like government
work
, daily
life
work
, shopping and many more.
Moreover
, citizens can increase their knowledge
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
become
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in
this
 field and feel good in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Meanwhile, they need
to required
Verb problem
require
show examples
 time management and priority of
task
 will
be easily achieve
Change the verb form
be easily achieved
show examples
 with the help of their own knowledge.
Furthermore
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 any kind of fraud happening in their
life
such
 as if
people
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on other individuals
then
 it
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
Change the article
the number
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
crime rates.
However
,
doing
Change preposition
by doing
show examples
 some extra
work
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
people
 can easily
avoind
Correct your spelling
avoid
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
show examples
 of hurdles. On the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
other hand,
people
 should not try any of
Correct article usage
the activies
show examples
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
 they do not have any guidance or proper
knoledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
such
 as only banking related
person
whol
Correct your spelling
who
 everything about banking and a particular
person
 of shop owners know the quality of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 and price
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
people
 do not
required
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 to do
this
 type of
task
 themselves. Eventually, they become indolent and
work
 perform in their
work
. To give an overview, citizens should do their daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
, shopping and some
business related
Add a hyphen
business-related
show examples
work
 and many more
indepence
Correct your spelling
independence
 without any
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 help
whereas
 they need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full knowledge of the
work
 and guidance in the
relative
Correct word choice
related
show examples
 field
Submitted by er.lerulal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: