In some culutures, children are often given the message that as long as they work hard, they can accomplish anything.

#culutures #children #message #work

In some cultures,

children

are often given the

message

that as long as they

work

hard, they can accomplish anything. I believe sending them

them

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

this

message

may increase their chances of success in

life

and

also

help them to grow as a person. The main downside may be that it can deprive them of a happy childhood and even make them doubt themselves. On the positive side, the

message

in question may help increase

children

's odds of success in

life

. It can make them believe in their talent and abilities.

Such

self-assurance can motivate them to

work

hard to move toward their goal. They may

also

experience personal growth in the process. When they commit to a goal, they learn to become,

for example

, more accountable and resourceful in order to make it a reality. Abilities like

this

can be valuable in their personal

as well as

their future professional lives. On the negative side, telling

children

they can realize any of their dreams through hard

work

may prevent them from enjoying their childhood. They may devote all their free time to pursuing their goal, leaving little time to have fun with their peers.

This

message

also

leads to self-doubt.

Children

are too young to be mentally strong enough to face big failures in

life

. the fact that they fail despite all the hard

work

may lead them to doubt their ability and intelligence. In conclusion, telling

children

anything is achievable if they put in enough effort may raise their odds of success in

life

and

also

help them in their personal growth.

However

, it may

also

come with the disadvantages of causing self-doubt and keeping them away from having a happy childhood.

Submitted by pr6272189 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some culutures, children are often given the message that as long as they work hard, they can accomplish anything.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

You carried out an emergency maintenance on a key system and this resulted in an issue with the system Write a letter to the head of your data team. In your letter: - Provide an update on what happened - Explain what you're going to do about it - Say what you would like to him to do

Living a county where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?