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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
People
 always have some difficulties during their lifespan and it is often argued that
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the livies
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livies
Correct your spelling
lives
 of the society in the past had lower quality than
people
 today. In
this
, essay I will discuss
the
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apply
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both aspects and give my way of thinking. On the one hand, the previous generation had numerous responsibilities for being alive.
For instance
, they were required to keep livestock and do agricultural work which
contribute
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contributed
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food
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to food
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 consumption or other facilities.
Secondly
, women always had to do all
housechores
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house chores
, help with agriculture,
take
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and take
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 care of children and elders .
However
, nowadays,
the
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apply
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young women have
high
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a high
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 education and built their
career
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careers
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.
Moreover
,
people
 from previous centuries were provided with limited devices. In
modern
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the modern
show examples
 era, the community have
an
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apply
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access to different technologies which reduce our work and often influence our
life
 positively.
On the other hand
,
21st
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the 21st
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 century
have it is
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has its
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 own difficulties.
The society
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Society
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start
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starts
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 to spend a great amount of time at sedentary work which leads to serious issues about their physical and mental health. The individuals who have successful
career
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careers
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 often complain about their social
life
 because they cannot spend time with their friends and family.
Furthermore
,
the
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apply
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life
 became more stressful, full of anxiety and rivalry.
People
 start to forget
enjoying
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to enjoy
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 with positive moments in their
life
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lives
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.
To sum up
, I reckon that all
generation
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generations
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 have severities but I strongly agree that the individuals in
21st
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the 21st
show examples
 century have a number of simplifications.
Submitted by elnur.adil on

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Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph having a clear central theme which is then logically developed. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately but beware of over-reliance on any one device.
Language Accuracy
Work on sentence structure to ensure that sentences are well-formed and there is variety in sentence types. Correct grammatical errors and check for proper punctuation usage.
Conclusion
Develop your conclusion further to ensure it effectively summarizes the key points of the essay and provide a final comment that clearly states your position.
Lexical Resource
Proofread your essay to fix typos and ensure that you have used the correct words in the correct context. Avoid repetition and strive for lexical resourcefulness.
Task Response
Pay attention to the prompt and make sure that your essay provides a balanced view throughout, ensuring you cover both sides of the argument while clearly stating your own position.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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