IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures.

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It is a popular saying that it is always advisable to prevent certain
diseases
Use synonyms
 rather than cure them .Lots of money in a country goes into the research and
thus
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 treatment becomes costly. I will explain in the following passage how certain useful measures can be taken to stop or minimize the onset of a disorder. To initiate, a Large number of
diseases
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 are the result of ignorance of humans and a sedentary lifestyle. Fast foods are
such
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 food which are known to invite a set of
diseases
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 like obesity which
further
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 trigger
diseases
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 like hypertension and diabetes. Now,either cutting off or reducing the use of
such
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 foods can make a person healthier . To illustrate, in New York, the majority of the obese and hypertensive population was put on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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trial by replacing junk food with a balanced diet and surprisingly,all of them were found healthier as their obesity came down which
further
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 minimized the use of medicines to control hypertension.
Thus
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, a dietary change led to the prevention of the
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , it has been found that regular usage of natural products like turmeric,coriander ,and fennel
are
Change the verb form
is
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 rich in disease-preventing chemicals which are found to show benefits in disorders of thick blood ,heart and infections . News that shook the entire world during the pandemic was that Indians were almost untouched by the deadliest Coronavirus.The reason was their regular usage of
such
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 condiments in their diet which boosted their immunity and they could fight better with the virus.
Therefore
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, much of the money of the government was saved from developing a potential drug which requires enormous time as well.
To conclude
Linking Words
, taking certain required steps like maintaining personal hygiene ,cleaning up the surroundings, lifestyle modifications,and switching to natural ingredients would definitely save crores of money which is
otherwise
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 going into the discovery of some potential medicines .

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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