IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.

The diagram below gives the information about the Hawaiian island chain in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart provides the stages of forming
Hawaiian
Correct article usage
the Hawaiian
show examples
 island chain in the Pacific Ocean.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process of creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hawaii took a long time and went through various stages before they became what we know them to be nowadays. It is marked that the chain began to form almost 80 million years ago on solid dense rock. The formation is initiated about 2883
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 down near
core
Correct article usage
the core
show examples
 of the Earth. About the same distance
due to
Linking Words
 movements of tectonic plates ‘Hot spot’ existed which erupted the material called “magma” and spume remained static respectively.
This
Linking Words
 way magma spume was formed.
Then
Linking Words
 numerous eruptions took place which
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 up
volcano
Correct article usage
the volcano
show examples
 until it
risen
Add the auxiliary verb
rose
has risen
show examples
 above ocean level.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, eruptions stopped as the Pacific tectonic plate has been moving to the
north – west
Correct your spelling
north–west
show examples
 direction about 7-9
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
show examples
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year and close magma spume. There were eight major islands formed in the Pacific Ocean – Niihau, Kauai, Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, Maui,
Kahoolawe
Correct word choice
and Kahoolawe
show examples
 which are 0-100
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 away from each other.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: