IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
Taking risks is fundamental to success and development, one must be able to accept a challenge to overcome barriers in their daily activities. Even though the disadvantages sometimes lead to professional, personal, and physical damage, I think the advantages outweigh the downsides because taking risks can help an individual unlock new positive aspects of existence,
such
 as huge growth in business, unlocking true happiness and becoming a braver person
overall
.
This
 essay will discuss both the good and the bad of taking a
risk
. On the one hand, there are disadvantages to taking risks,
such
 as damage at work, in relationships, or causing injuries.
For example
, taking a chance by spending a big sum of money to start an enterprise is vulnerable to failure and can lead to bankruptcy. Trying out hazardous experiences in personal life
for instance
 skydiving, a lot of people are afraid of skydiving because if it goes wrong, they can lose their course of existence and there are cases of that happening before, and can absolutely happen again. The hazards relating to the examples above depict the vital downsides of taking a
risk
.
On the other hand
, stepping up to do something that one might be hesitant about can bring back positive results
such
 as development in their jobs and their life, and help them become a confident person. An individual might be unfulfilled but the truth is that their own hesitation is the barrier to a successful and happy life. To illustrate, successful entrepreneurs with a net worth of billions
such
 as Mark Zuckerburg and Jeff Bezos needed to take a big
risk
 to get to where they are now. They needed to invest a large sum of money to start up their enterprise which started small, which does not guarantee success, and so do every other entrepreneur. Even though their investment has a high chance of resulting in failure, and their business will go bankrupt, the successful entrepreneurs took the probability and were able to build a big company from it.
This
 demonstrates the advantages of putting aside hesitant thoughts and taking a dangerous step. In brief,
although
 the drawbacks of taking a
risk
 can result in professional, personal, and physical harm, I believe the benefits overpass the drawbacks since it can help an individual uncover new good areas of being,
such
 as a significant increase in professional projects, actual happiness, and becoming a bolder person
Submitted by ngocnamkhue.nguyen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that examples are detailed and specific to effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the variety and complexity of linking words and phrases to improve flow and cohesion.
task achievement
Maintain a clear position throughout the response, and avoid any contradictions to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Refrain from using overly general statements without providing specific evidence or explanation to support them.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating the same ideas; instead, expand on them by providing different viewpoints or expanding the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: