The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first

The two maps illustrate the original layout of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

grange

Correct your spelling

Grange Park

show examples

park

and its modification

occurred

Correct pronoun usage

that occurred

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays.

Overall

, there were enormous alternation happened during the period from 1920 till now. By 1920, there was a fountain between the two entrances which could

accessible

Add a missing verb

be accessible

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Eldon Street and Arnold Avenue respectively. In the eastern part of the

park

which involved a rose

garden

, a pond for water plants and a glasshouse which was

along with

the south wall of the area.

For

Change preposition

show examples

the opposite side, a stage provided for musicians was standing in the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

with double seats and a rose

garden

on both

side

Change to a plural noun

sides

show examples

. Based on the demonstration, the

recent

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

park

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

changed significantly. A rose

garden

with seats around it is situated

Change preposition

show examples

the position where the fountain

Add a missing verb

is perviously

show examples

perviously

Correct your spelling

previously

occupied.

Additionally

, in the left region of the

park

, only one rose

garden

has remained

while

amphitheater

Change the spelling

amphitheatre

show examples

used for

Add an article

the concert

a concert

show examples

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

which substituted the original facilities is built.

Furthermore

, a water feature, a cafe and a children’s play area have replaced the constructions it used to set before.

Besides

, in order to arrive at the underground car

park

, a new entrance is added in the southeast corner of the

park

Submitted by imagicky on Sat Oct 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

201 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

recreational facilities
landscaping
naturalistic
amenities
formal gardens
ergonomic
symmetric designs
inclusive
accessible
accommodations
native plant species
societal changes
visitor services
community events
evolution
modern playgrounds
wildflower meadows

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In a world that often encourages individuals to plan for the future, it is argued by some people that the present moment should take precedence. I personally believe living in the present is undoubtedly paramount, but this does not diminish the significance of planning.
4
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
There is an ongoing debate circulating on whether adolescents should be allowed to have mobile phones. I think both sides of the debate present some considerations that are totally understandable which makes it an interesting topic to be talked about.
6
band
Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
Happiness is the ultimate goal of everyone in life. Some think that this can be achieved through accumulating money, as it would provide for their basic needs. In this essay, I will give reasons to prove that other than money, good health and healthy relationships are the primary factors that contribute to one's happiness.
8
band
The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Why is that
It is true that there has been a demographic trend that shows a higher number of young adults than that of older people in some areas. This essay will demonstrate that the demand for more children and poor education are the two key factors that lead to this trend.
7
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
Nowadays , Doctors and teachers are immigrating from developing countries to rich countries. In this essay, I will discuss the cause of this problem by taking examples from newspapers and journals.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Why is that

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?