IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
The two maps illustrate the original layout of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grange
Correct your spelling
Grange Park
show examples
park
 and its modification
occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
Overall
, there were enormous alternation happened during the period from 1920 till now. By 1920, there was a fountain between the two entrances which could
accessible
Add a missing verb
be accessible
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Eldon Street and Arnold Avenue respectively. In the eastern part of the
park
 which involved a rose
garden
, a pond for water plants and a glasshouse which was
along with
 the south wall of the area.
For
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the opposite side, a stage provided for musicians was standing in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with double seats and a rose
garden
 on both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
. Based on the demonstration, the
recent
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
park
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed significantly. A rose
garden
 with seats around it is situated
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the position where the fountain
Add a missing verb
is perviously
show examples
perviously
Correct your spelling
previously
 occupied.
Additionally
, in the left region of the
park
, only one rose
garden
 has remained
while
 an
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
 used for
Add an article
the concert
a concert
show examples
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
 which substituted the original facilities is built.
Furthermore
, a water feature, a cafe and a children’s play area have replaced the constructions it used to set before.
Besides
, in order to arrive at the underground car
park
, a new entrance is added in the southeast corner of the
park
.
Submitted by imagicky on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: