IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some cities ban private cars from entering the centre and force people to use bicycles and buses. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some regions, drivers are not allowed to use their
cars
Use synonyms
 to reach the centre only
bicycles
Use synonyms
 and
buses
Use synonyms
 can be selected.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 outweigh the drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay will first demonstrate that a decrease in the number of
transport
Use synonyms
 contributes to lowering the level of pollution and preventing the formation of traffic jams, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage namely
transport
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 like
buses
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 and
bicycles
Use synonyms
 require more to reach the destination, are not valid. The main reason for restricting the usage of
cars
Use synonyms
 to reach the centre is to conserve and deter the level of contamination in the city.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, the decline in
cars
Use synonyms
 retains the state of ecology and is able to retain it.
For example
Linking Words
, a country like Amsterdam is well-known as the one where the main transportation is by bike; it is
also
Linking Words
 less polluted and considered to be eco-friendly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the policy presents less chances of getting into traffic jams,
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
cars
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. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, Norway,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has recently experienced a high demand for
bicycles
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 because people say it is the fastest way to reach any place. Those opposed to
this
Linking Words
 say that with
this
Linking Words
 rule using other varieties of transportation requires more time to get to the final destination.
However
Linking Words
, in countries where
bicycles
Use synonyms
 and
buses
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 are frequently used
instead
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
cars
Add a comma
cars,
show examples
 it is vice versa. These types accelerate one's way to any place,
hence
Linking Words
, these days, many nations switch to ecologically friendly types of
transport
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the fact that policies permit only
buses
Use synonyms
 and
bicycles
Use synonyms
 to drive in the centres of cities prevents the deterioration of ecology,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 providing people with a faster and safer type of transportation without getting stuck in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jams, clearly outweighs the flawed argument of
cars
Use synonyms
 being the only fastest
transport
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-structured, some sentences could be clearer. Aim to avoid vague phrases and be more specific in your explanations. For instance, instead of 'it is also less polluted,' you could say 'the city's air quality has significantly improved.'
task achievement
Consider providing more data or statistics to support your claims about the advantages of using bicycles and buses. This can make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Try to address counterarguments more thoroughly to strengthen your argument. While you did mention a counterargument, it was quickly dismissed. Elaborating on why the counterargument is invalid will make your essay stronger.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly present your main argument, which helps in providing a solid framework for your essay.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure and flows well from one point to the next, making it easy to follow your argument.
supported main points
You have included relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning Amsterdam and Norway, which help to illustrate your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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