Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Recently, more and more communities facing health problems have been seeking alternative medicines and avenues rather than visiting professionals like doctors.
This
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phenomenon occurred to certain people
due to
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the lack of scientific knowledge and wealth. From my point of view,
this
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attitude is a portrayal of negative trends
due to
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some detrimental impacts
such
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as threatening malpractices.
To begin
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with, I will jot down two strong reasons for the occurrence of the matter.
Firstly
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, many people, predominantly those who fall in the lower-income group, are not thoroughly exposed to the scientific foundation and,
hence
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, are easily trapped in alternative medication.
For instance
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, communities living in the slum area in my country believe in the efficacies of certain crops to cure some critical illnesses.
In addition
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, monetary factor
also
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plays a monumental role in
this
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case, leaving those with weak financial power unable to afford the proper healthcare.
Consequently
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,
this
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phenomenon is a lagging development because of some demerits. Seeking medication from non-accredited sources
instead
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of relying on credible doctors can worsen the sickness and even cause death.
For example
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, in Indonesia, the rate of mortality contributed by the fake clinics' malpractices is considerably high with 6% shares. Even if someone can't fully trust his regular doctor, it is better to look for additional validation from another professional, from the more advanced country if possible, prior to depending on alternative treatments. In summary, the growing reliance on non-medical treatments to cure illness is caused by the lack of education and financial power. I firmly opine that
this
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behaviour is a negative regression owing to the inferiorities of possible misconduct treatments.
At the end
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of the day, the government should give a proper education and make an affordable health insurance program for its society.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on whether it is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Develop your main points more extensively and provide more supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread your essay for grammar and sentence structure errors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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