Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
As we grow up and so the world is, several aspects of our lives have significantly changed. With the growing civilization, these days we are facing various options. I firmly agree with
this
opinion and the following essay will elaborate on the extent to which I am of the same mind.
To commence with, the world has significantly changed. Many alterations are presented to us. To give an illustration, a simple example can be seen from the advancement of technologies. In the past, communities used birds or envelopes to converse with other communities. As the days go by, people are starting to invent more efficient and effective communication tools. Today, we have phones, computers, and electronic systems Linking Words
such
as email and social media to be in contact with other human beings. Adding to that, other examples can be witnessed through the massive growth of transportation. Individuals are used to moving from one place to another place by foot, Linking Words
then
horses, and now faster transportation namely cars, aeroplanes, and trains. Linking Words
Consequently
, with the spread of alternatives, mankind has space to decide which stand they are on.
Linking Words
However
, some regions may still have limited options, unlike other regions. Some areas may experience a different implementation and treatment from the growing qualities of life. Linking Words
For instance
, countries Linking Words
such
as the United States of America or the United Kingdom may have experienced rising and significant growth in technologies. Unfortunately, countries that are exposed to conflict are unable to encounter the escalation of life’s standards.
Linking Words
To conclude
, with the surge of humankind’s condition, societies have more voices to decide which options they will take. Unfortunately, some individuals are less fortunate to be in the same line. They are most likely to have limited access to enjoy favours.Linking Words
Submitted by salwaasfra on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Your essay lacks a clear stance on the topic. Make sure to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement and support your position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion is abrupt. Try to provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points of your essay and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of vocabulary used, but some expressions are unclear or awkward. Aim for more precise and natural-sounding language to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
There are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Pay attention to the correct use of grammar and work on constructing more complex sentences to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.