MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #price #foods

The

last

research, parade marked a rise in obesity rates in the world. Some thoughts assume that we could reduce

this

issue by imposing higher costs on unhealthy

food

However

, it's not a surefire way and

also

not fair. People who reap high remuneration don't care about extra taxes as money doesn't constitute any impediment for them, to illustrate, increasing fatten

food

few dollars is nothing for them.

Consequently

, it could influence just low-income people whom money represents an important factor for them, so they will prefer saving some money

than

Change preposition

show examples

buying fast

food

Moreover

, applying

such

solutions will generate financial problems for numerous ventures

as well as

economic issues, because processed

food

is not only an important industry it is

economic

Add an article

an economic

show examples

changer. so, huge companies in

this

sector ,

for example

, KFC, McDonald's,Cookdoor and Pizzahut, will not obey these measures and may take backfire action. There is always another side to a coin. so for sure increasing prices of processed products

such

as burgers, pizza,soft drinks and instant pasta, might regulate

this

phenomenon, because it will minimize the desire for

such

products,

in other words

, it can change consumer conduct.

also

this

extra levy could be used to improve obesity health centres,

furthermore

conceived advertising campaigns to expand the knowledge about overweight matters. In conclusion,

although

levying more charges on fatten foods could manage the issue, it is not the optimal solution.

Thus

, we should look for other ways ,

for example

, awareness campaigns to cope with

this

matter.

Submitted by moaznashy123 on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task response

The essay provides some relevant points and examples, but it could benefit from a more thorough development of ideas and a clearer position on the given topic. There is a lack of balance between the two opposing views, and a more comprehensive argumentation would strengthen the response.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more coherent and organized, and the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

250 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Fully explain your ideas

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic: Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is reducing the amount of maximum speed of vehicles. Others think that other ways exist. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?