Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?

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A group of people believe that creating a chance for the young generation to travel across the world is the best thing owing to the fact that their knowledge about the developing. I subscribe to
this
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perspective inasmuch as having trips to global areas improves their understanding of international citizens;
additionally
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, technology is another choice for
this
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subject. On the one hand, the fact
that is
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really crucial is that when young people have journeyed to other areas, they learn some items like cultural diversity , other societies' matters, the environmental problems and so forth.
As a result
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, they can find the best occupation, which benefits communities around the world, and develop their jobs for international businesses in the long run.
In addition
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, they obtain some tips from other populations that can change their countries to the best ones.
On the other hand
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, Today, we live in the technology age, and global inhabitants have access to a range of electronic gadgets and the Internet.
Consequently
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, the youth can communicate with each other from several countries to enhance their knowledge about other social norms, news, and so on.
Furthermore
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, virtual reality is the newest element that creates an opportunity for the young generations to travel to other areas without spending too much money and physical travel.
To sum up
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, in my personal view, it is important that young people know about the various lifestyles and traditional norms and so forth around the world by some methods.
Such
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as travelling or interacting with global young inhabitants through social media or other ways.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is off to a strong start with a clear introduction and well-rounded conclusion, summarizing the key aspects of your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both travel and technology as means of broadening young people's understanding of the world.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden one's horizons
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cross-cultural awareness
  • Immersive experience
  • Linguistic skills
  • Global perspective
  • Personal growth
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Technological alternatives
  • Virtual reality
  • Cross-border interaction
  • Cultural exchange
  • Host family experience
  • Global curriculum
  • International exposure
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