Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The topic of whether the
government
should fund amusement
activities
across the countries has long been at the centre of discussion for many. It is my contention that
while
making entertainment
activities
free can offer multitudinous benefits, exorbitant amounts of expenses can play a downward trend during the effectiveness evaluation of
this
initiative. First and foremost, in the contemporary world, many cities are devoid of parks, circuses and museums for their residents to savour on their weekends.
Therefore
, I think it is a pragmatic
investment
for the Governments to invest in so as to enhance the living standards of locals and provide them with better entertainment infrastructure. To exemplify
this
statement, in Azerbaijan, the local executive power has established multiple parks and outdoor
activities
for locals to enjoy,
thus
, sparking a positive trend of increased satisfaction level in the surveys conducted in public.
Furthermore
, financing cultural and recreational
activities
can augment the social fabric of communities. Events like music festivals, cultural holiday gatherings and art classes can foster social bonds and help cultivate a sense of community and inclusiveness among diverse groups.
For example
, every year an annual Pomegranate festival is held by locals in Azerbaijan which attracts thousands of visitors from across the world.
Consequently
, with the help of
government
support, cultural and ethnic norms are shared and transferred to other nations
whereas
local farmers sell their homemade products at
this
gathering.
On the other hand
, some critics opine that
government
funds could be better spent on essential services
such
as education and healthcare.
While
these are undoubtedly critical
investment
areas, neglecting the entrainment needs of the population can lead to a decline in
overall
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
well-being.
Moreover
,
investment
in recreational
activities
can
also
bring in additional revenues by promoting and selling locally produced products. In Conclusion,
although
the advantages of
government
-subsidized leisure
activities
are important and profound, depending on a country's economic condition, diverting
this
investment
towards more rudimentary needs like healthcare and education can bring about faster payback to the
government
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, certain parts could be made clearer. For instance, the balancing of essential services against leisure activities can be a little more explicitly discussed to provide a comprehensive perspective.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally strong, but transitions between arguments could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to seamlessly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents relevant and specific examples to support its arguments, which adds weight and credibility to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, successfully framing the argument and summarizing the key points.
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