The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, an average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, an average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts display the proportion of spending money by students of the same university in two different years. The largest number of their money expenditure
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on food and drinks in both years, the percentage was 29,
whereas
only 4
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2000 and 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2010 students spent on restaurants and cafes. In 2000 the cost of utility bills was 21
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cent
Fix the agreement mistake
cents
show examples
, in 2010 spending on them slightly increased to 27%.
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
activities and cultural education
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
stayed the same in both years, only 17%. The significant difference between the spending on clothing shops was 16% in 2000 and only 5% in 2010. There is a slight percentage increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
expenditure on transport in 2010 was 9 per cent, almost the same amount of spending corresponded to only 8 per cent of all expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in 2000. The lowest percentage of expenses in 2000 and 2010 was for vacations and time off. The noticeable tendency of similar proportion was in both pie charts.
Submitted by emmusia2504 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of expenditure
  • Revenue
  • Categories
  • Significant changes
  • Spending habits
  • Relatively stable
  • Inflation
  • Lifestyle
  • Investments
  • Academic materials
  • Entertainment
  • Accommodation
  • Utilities
  • Food
  • Transportation
  • Miscellaneous expenses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: