Some people think that a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few masses
opines
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opine
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that taking a huge amount of income has
play
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played
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a vital role
while
others argue that a better working
envirnoment
Correct your spelling
environment
is significant to them. I completely agree with
the
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apply
show examples
both views as increasing payscale
offer
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offers
show examples
a
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apply
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financial stability and security
however
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, however
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, fruitful surroundings that enhance
the
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apply
show examples
productivity and creativity.
To begin
with, high wage
are
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is
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crucial for
the
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apply
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individuals because it bestows
a
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apply
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stability in account and secureness.
This
means
,
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apply
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family
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the family
a family
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can get a better education for
there
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their
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future if their income standards are
high
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higher
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than others
Moreover
,
there
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their
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lifestyle
such
as wearing branded clothes, using
own
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their own
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vehicles to go the other
place
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places
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as well
as
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and
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family member spend time
together
with
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apply
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happily in everyday.
For instance
, some actress
shown
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show
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that
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apply
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their lifestyles like going to the
jym
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gym
in
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on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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basis without any tension
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, in addition,
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in addition
spending
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to spending
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time with their
collegue
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colleague
colleagues
in different games.
Thus
, these things provide not only stability but
also
strength to the folks.
However
, talking about a logical working atmosphere
why
Rephrase
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be needed for
the
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apply
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employers since there are productivity and creativity will
enhance
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be enhanced
show examples
if workers apply satisfactory areas. It might be said that, working with
a
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the
show examples
best leader whose behaviour or knowledge is excellent so that increment level can be higher than the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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co-workers.
Furthermore
, staff will concentrate more
in
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on
show examples
their work when anxiety
reduce
Wrong verb form
is reduced
show examples
and
confidence
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their confidence
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level will
boost
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be boosted
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up
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apply
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in the job. To
be illustrate
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illustrate
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, some company owners have figured out some labours are working
long-hous
Correct your spelling
long-hours
as
comfortable
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a comfortable
the comfortable
show examples
arena in the industries.
To conclude
, There are a lot of mankind who want to work
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high wages as it will give
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
healthier life wheres,
working
Correct word choice
whereas working
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
a
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warm environment
also
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
satisfaction to the public.
Therefore
, I totally
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with both statements there are
seen
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
both situations have benefits for everyone.
Submitted by tanwarneha678 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you clearly state your opinion in the introduction paragraph.
task achievement
Develop your ideas and provide more supporting examples.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to accuracy.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on sentence structure and grammar accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • priority
  • financial stability
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • aspirations
  • positive work environment
  • team dynamics
  • productivity
  • creativity
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • personal opinion
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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