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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

. IT is a better buy just a expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheap clothes. Do you agree or disagree

#clothes #lots
Nowadays
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 expensive
clothes
 is very popular.
Reason
Add an article
The reason
show examples
 is that it is worth their money rather than buy lots of cheap
clothes
. I totally agree with
this
 opinion, Buy high
price
clothes
 rather than low
price
dress
 is a greater. If we buy
high cost
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
clothes
, we will use
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time and our appearance will be high standard as well. In my point of view,
this
 essay will discuss
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relevant examples
further
Change preposition
in further
show examples
 paragraphs. On the
one
 hand, if we buy high
price
Wrong verb form
priced
show examples
clothes
 we are using a long period
due to
,
material
Correct article usage
the material
show examples
 quality
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 nice
also
 tailoring
most
Add a missing verb
is most
show examples
 probably outstanding.
For instance
, in my
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, three years ago
one
 of my
friends
 had been inviting to me
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her wedding ceremony
therefore
 at that time I bought
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 expensive
dress
.
However
,
last
 week I
wear
Wrong verb form
wore
show examples
 that
dress
 for
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 party, all my
friends
 told me
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 nice
dress
 and she
also
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to buy
nevertheless
Correct pronoun usage
it nevertheless
show examples
, I told her I bought
this
dress
 three years ago, she said “
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
 is a
turn up
Add a hyphen
turn-up
show examples
 for the books.
Finally
, I was over the moon.
Therefore
 previously I
mentions
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
expensive
Correct article usage
an expensive
show examples
dress
 can
were
Verb problem
take
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
On the other hand
, when people buy expensive
clothes
 there have
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 looks.
For instance
, I am going to explain
one
 of my
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
One
 day my friend and my sister went
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
clothes
 because
want
Wrong verb form
we wanted
show examples
 to go
Change preposition
to some
show examples
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 party. My
friends
 bought cheap
clothes
nice
Change preposition
in nice
show examples
 styles
however
, my sister bought
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 style
clothes
Change preposition
of clothes
show examples
, but
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 was expensive.
Thus
, they
had been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
participated
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 party
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
as a result
, folk
gave
Verb problem
apply
show examples
comments
Wrong verb form
commented
show examples
 to my sister “
your
Capitalize word
Your
show examples
 appearance is joggers”
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, but unfortunately they could not tell anything to my friend about the
dress
 because
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 was cheap, quality
also
 cheap not only that appearance is not nice.
Furthermore
, I would like to say,
due to
previously
Change the word
previous
show examples
 I
mentions
Change the verb form
mention
show examples
 cheap
clothes
 and expensive
clothes
 look is
difference
Add an article
a difference
the difference
show examples
.
To conclude
, In my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 it is a better choice
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
 expensive
clothes
 than cheap
clothes
.
Submitted by himalhi.deepthi on

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grammatical
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
Provide more supporting examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise.
lexical resource
Use more varied and advanced vocabulary.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: