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Band 4

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents
Nowadays, individuals
are need
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to earn more income to fulfil their requirements
therefore
 they do not need to pay
taxes
 to the
government
. I strongly agree with the above statement and my justification will come in
further
 paragraphs
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, there are several reasons why human beings
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 need to pay
taxes
.
Firstly
, they put
extra
Change preposition
in extra
show examples
 hours and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 to earn
money
hence
 they should keep all the
money
 for
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 better future.
For instance
, sometimes any misshepling
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time they easily
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their saving for any medical emergency and many more.
Secondly
, the living expenses of
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 lives are very costly to adjust
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 class to buy their dream house and car.
Thirdly
,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system and
helathcare
Correct your spelling
health care
 both are very expensive to affordable poor people
therefore
 they do not need to pay the
government
.
Furthermore
, individuals are less likely to pay
taxes
 to the administration and
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 in different fields
such
 as education, healthcare and many more.
Moreover
, they need to some essential requirements in their life to survive long.
On the other hand
, there are many advantages of paying
taxes
 to the state. the
government
 can easily provide them
better
Change preposition
with better
show examples
 education, good health
infrastrure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
any
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 many more facilities.
Additionally
, the state can manage their economy and budget very easily with the help of the
money
which they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
received
Wrong verb form
receives
show examples
 from the local public. To give an overview, folk should not pay
taxes
 to the
government
 because they need some extra
money
 to survive long.
However
, the state should overcome
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
show examples
 rates so all people can easily pay
taxes
.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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