Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support

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It is believed by some that dedicating their free

time

only to the

household

is beneficial for young

people

whereas

others view that

this

may be harmful.

Although

the role of guardians is crucial for youngsters, I believe that young individuals should have the freedom to engage in a variety of

activities

beyond family

time

. On the one hand, the presence of

household

members offers emotional security

as well as

strengthens familial bonds. Youngsters who regularly engage in home-based

activities

often feel supported, which can positively affect their emotional development.

Furthermore

time

spent within the

household

can be a space where young

people

learn essential life skills,

such

as communication, teamwork, and conflict resolution, which are crucial for their

overall

growth.

For example

, family meals, outings, and game nights provide opportunities for shared experiences that create lasting memories.

However

, focusing solely on

household

activities

may limit many opportunities for young

people

to socialize with others. Socializing outside the domestic sphere is important for learning how to navigate diverse social settings and build relationships with individuals from different backgrounds.

For instance

, engaging in extracurricular

activities

such

as sports, the arts, or volunteering helps young

people

develop various skills, including leadership, responsibility, and resilience.

Hence

, these experiences enable youngsters to explore their personal interests and build self-confidence, which is vital for their future success and happiness.

To conclude

while

children can learn a lot from their parents, dedicating their leisure

time

with

Change preposition

show examples

anyone

nnot

Correct your spelling

not

just their guardians will certainly help kids to learn about different

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

Submitted by azami06mufa on Wed Dec 11 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to further illustrate your points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the conclusion clearly summarizes both sides of the argument before stating your personal stance. This will reinforce the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The structure is logical and easy to follow, with clear transitions between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Main points are generally well-supported by relevant arguments, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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