IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#countries #phones #cellphones #apps #development
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The
use
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 of mobile
payment
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apps
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 is rapidly increasing around the world, as people are drawn to their convenience and speed.
While
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 there are some concerns about the
security
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 of these
apps
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, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the biggest advantages of mobile
payment
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apps
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 is their convenience.
Users
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 can simply tap their phone to pay for goods and services, without having to carry cash or cards.
This
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 is especially helpful in situations where cash is not accepted,
such
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 as when taking a taxi or ordering food online. Another advantage of mobile
payment
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apps
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 is that they can help
users
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 to save money. Many
apps
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 offer rewards programs that give
users
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 discounts or points for using their
app
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apps
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.
Additionally
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, mobile
payment
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apps
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 can help
users
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 to track their spending habits, which can lead to better financial management.
For example
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, the Google Pay app allows
users
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 to earn cashback on purchases made at participating merchants.
Additionally
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, Google Pay provides
users
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 with a detailed breakdown of their spending habits, which can help them
to
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apply
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identify areas where they can cut back.
While
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 there are some concerns about the
security
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 of mobile
payment
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apps
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, these concerns are often overblown. Most mobile
payment
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apps
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use
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 sophisticated
security
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 features to protect user data.
For example
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, many
apps
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use
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 encryption to protect sensitive information,
such
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 as credit card numbers.
Additionally
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, many
apps
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 require
users
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 to authenticate themselves with a PIN code or fingerprint before making a
payment
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. Of course, no
security
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 system is perfect, and there have been some cases of mobile
payment
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apps
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 being hacked.
However
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, these cases are rare, and the vast majority of
users
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 are safe when using mobile
payment
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apps
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. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of mobile
payment
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apps
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 outweigh the disadvantages. Mobile
payment
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apps
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 are convenient,
secure
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and secure
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, and can help
users
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to
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apply
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save money. I expect that the
use
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 of mobile
payment
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apps
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 will continue to grow in the coming years.
Submitted by farzam.dowlati on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by discussing at least one potential disadvantage of mobile payment apps.
lexical resource
Consider using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate your grammatical range and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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