Some toddlers are using mobile phones for hours each day. why is this the case? is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
kids
Use synonyms
use mobiles for an extended
time
Use synonyms
daily.
This
Linking Words
is because
parents
Use synonyms
prefer healthy screen
time
Use synonyms
to their offspring to keep them entertained.
This
Linking Words
is a positive development as it allows them to access educational applications that enhance their developmental motor and cognitive
skills
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
busy working hours and household responsibilities, especially toddlers at home,
parents
Use synonyms
are overly exhausted.
As a result
Linking Words
, they often lack
time
Use synonyms
to complete their unfinished tasks.
Hence
Linking Words
, they want their children to be kept occupied till they finish their chores.
For instance
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
juggle between looking after a child
while
Linking Words
doing other tasks and allowing access to YouTube or digital screen
time
Use synonyms
to keep their
kids
Use synonyms
entertained until they finish their work.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
approach would be beneficial to both of them. Allowing supervised and structured screen
time
Use synonyms
during caretakers' busy hours is a positive development as
kids
Use synonyms
can access unlimited educational resources on their mobiles to explore their abilities to learn new
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the famous YouTube channel named "Ms. Rachel" has various videos accessible that are made purposefully for preschoolers to develop their learning
skills
Use synonyms
through numerous rhymes.
Thus
Linking Words
, watching
such
Linking Words
shows enhances
kids
Use synonyms
' ability to learn new subjects each day
such
Linking Words
as shapes,
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
, body parts, etc. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
offer mobiles to their
kids
Use synonyms
to get occupied and entertained.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is not limited to that.
In addition
Linking Words
, children often learn through many educational applications that enhance their problem-solving and interactive
skills
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is a positive development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more detail and examples. This could help strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support that idea. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding more transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly, enhancing overall readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons toddlers use mobile phones and the positive aspects of this behavior, which is a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
You effectively used specific examples, such as 'Ms. Rachel' on YouTube, to illustrate your points, which adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: